.postid-65275 #text-52{display:none;} Whats the difference between aPeterbilt and a porcupine? The truck driver says, "I'll have a, One day, as they slowly drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. color: #FFF; } What do you call a queue of trucks? A gynaecologist was fed up withhis job and so he decided to switch careers. The ones with the long haul ways! A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused. Eventually, a cop car pulls up. In Georgia we had many for all the local drivers. Because their trucks dont go fast enough to kill the bugs. Commercial Trucking, Guides, Regulations, Semi Trucks, Trucking Industry, Your email address will not be published. ", He slams a thousand dollar note on the receptionist's table and says "Give a cheese sandwich and one of your ugliest women". 17. So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. It was quite a spectacle. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. font-size: 21px; It was quite a traffic jam. One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi-truck as a practical joke. margin-bottom: 15px; #trucking #trucker #truckdriver #truckdriving #truckdrivingjobs #jobs #cdl #Texas #funny #lol. The third biker ate the truckers applepie. A blonde is taking her new sports car out for a drive on the highway. When Justin did, the driver got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. ", As he sits he pops a candy in his mouth grabs the cat and bites it. They walked directly up to him and without warning, started to beat the living shit out of him. Humor Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed. The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo. Well, my old student, he parks his truck, and goes over to this car and . So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. #WideLoad #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy Tuesday! The driver did so and left. Now the truck driver was getting really mad. -moz-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; The trucker angrily yells at her and motions for her to pull over. A truck carrying lions and elephants spilled on the highway. js.src = "//forms.aweber.com/form/69/1702128069.js"; display: block; I hate being sexy but I'm a truck driver so I can't help it! He'd eat an M&M, reach down grab the cat and bite it, stand up and move about 3feet. You start with two million dollars. We have great rates, low down payments, and flexible monthly payments regardless of credit history. He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. The majority of drivers are working under stressful conditions, including longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. Watch this!. Whats so funny? the truck driver asked. It wasnt for me though. background-color: transparent; The trucker says back, Youre telling me! Even though he was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. He lived across the street from a lever, that if it were to be pulled, the world would end. He stops and shes out of breath. The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. Thinkingthat the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman said, Did I just see you swallow something?, The truck driver replied, Yeah, that was my birth control pill.. She says to herself "I'm fat and wrinkly, my skin is old and weather worn, my hair is falling out and I just don't feel beautiful anymore". A police officer is on his tail, lights flashing. I'm pulling this from memory. -webkit-border-radius: 50px; #trucks #truckdriver #truckdriving #trucker #truckingjobs #jobs #18wheeler, With these helpful tips, the driver has dealt with fewer el assos on the road. Continue with Recommended Cookies. And then I gave you a 50% bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe.. The truck driver didnt say a word as he paid the waitress and left. font-variant: normal; Entertainment, Semi Trucks About The Author Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road. The driver said," I did. NHTSA Study Shows Safest and Most Dangerous States for Truckers, FMCSA to Review Crash Preventability Determination Program, Loves Travel Stops to Spend Tons of Money. The cop said "You need to take them to the zoo! Working for the carnival, I hauled the worlds most giant pair of glasses the other week. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. overflow: hidden; Check out our humor truck driver selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. font-family: 'arqicon'; Haulin oats. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_5',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. He knew, he had to stop the truck somehow. The policeman says, Sorry pal, you cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed. .arqam-widget-counter ul, .arqam-widget-counter li { A milk truck. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it. The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. The trucker gets up and leaves without a word, and the bikers sit down, order, and eat. The woman gets back in her car, and when the light turns green, the driver keeps trucking. A trucker gets lost one day and as luck would have it he comes to a the low bridge and gets stuck under it. Driver: Well, sir. From $22.87. As he goes in the door he sees a sign that says "No Nerds will be served." Watch. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. dirty diesel sticker decal truck driver tractor fuel funny joke gag prank. Then I gave you 50% for reassembling it perfectly. The cops said theres nothing they can do. Hes just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorbikes.. Penguins. color: #fff; After all, theres no plate like chrome for the hollandaise! The gynaecologist did his best and was amazed to find he scored 150%. .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-11{display:none;} Well, that's an awfully high price to pay for #diesel! When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The first biker said to the waitress, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_8',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_9',661,'0','2'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_2');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',661,'0','3'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_3');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:3px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:3px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:300px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. Search. You cant keep these penguins in your truck! The cop said, You need to take them to the zoo! border-color: #cc181e; Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. Why did the propane truck driver get a speeding ticket? #trucker #trucking #funny #truckdriver. .arqam-widget-counter ul { 12. Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days. Omg thank you!" I have two friends, an astronaut, and a truck driver. -ms-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; Climb in the truck.. The man is a bit freaked out. So I have to get a cab home. width: 30%; ('Cause Keep On Truckin' Jokes and Semi Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Free-W heeling Mother Truckers!) } Emily, Leader of The Joyful Stepmom, (function(d, s, id) { The motorist went up to him and said, I dont mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door? To which the trucker replied, Sorry, cant talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times., A doctor sees a brains for sale sign in front of a shop. The first two were all bandaged up, looking like they'd been in a train wreck. What has four wheels and flies? Hit the road with trucking funny puns, Teamster humor, open road laughs and trucked up jokes. Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? text-align: center; Only crush their tiny legs and arms. A sign comes up that reads Low Bridge Ahead.. One day a trucker got slightly stuck with his load under an overpass on a busy stretch of highway. No problem, Father! One of our truck financing specialists will contact you as soon as possible to review your commercial truck loan or lease needs and learn more about you and your business financing goals. Were not here for the short term, were on the long haul with you. He decides he needs a cup of coffee so he pulls into this truck stop. margin-bottom: 0px; They drive for a while, having a chat, and then the hitch-hiker says hes tired. She left me for a police officer. As they are about to drive away he asks her "what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?" For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. Yes, this is what it is about. The examiner asks What would you do if your headlights went out? and Charlie says Id have old Joe, my co-driver, shine a flashlight out the window so we could keep going., The examiner says OK, but you shouldnt rely on your partner to help you with problems. Treat Yourself & Click Now! He got his knife back out and sliced all the trucks tires. Learn how your comment data is processed. My truck has the best security system in the world. #trucking #career #mondaymemes, LIKE Progressive Truck Driving School today: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truckdriver #trucker #career #money #job #jobsearch #Chicago #employment #education #cash #Illinois #school, LIKE Progressive Truck Driving School: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truck #driver Shipping to Hawaii Truck driver. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. text-align: center; He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. Timmy says I'm popp. Today Im taking them to the movies.. The truck driver didnt do anything or say a word as all this went on.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',660,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0'); When they finished, he just paid the waitress and left. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. So, of course, there are truck driving games as well. Lucky I got him with the door!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_12',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Trucker stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. } fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); The best humor is more personal, such as hearing trucker jokes to help liven up the trip. A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely *not* Avian Flu. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. Liked these trucker jokes? The truck driver draws a circle on the pavement and tells the blonde stay there. Now for some funny quotes about cars. 1. The chickens are out back, He hated how they would go from house to house, bothering people and questioning their faith. #af-form-1702128069 .af-body { that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Because you give them a full load, and they take 9 months to deliver. I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic. Tow truck drivers must see a lot of action. Where do the Mexican truckers hang out? Changed a lot of stuff, and added a buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible. One grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The bartender pours him a whiskey, the truck driver takes it, sloshes it around in his mouth, and spits it out on the floor. margin: 0 !important; He asked the priest, Where are you going, Father? Im going to the church 5 miles down the road, replied the priest. Pinterest. Our mission is to become your long-term financial partner by helping you grow your trucking business and fleet. On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. Sigh. [Updated 12/17/19] (One Line Fun). A police officer tells a man. Learn about how the relationship between. truck driver had two options. #text-62 { A truck transporting biohazards spilled on the highway. He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles., The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. "Never have more children than you have car windows.". So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. A truck carrying ten thousand copies of a thesaurus crashed on the motorway. A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. The trailers. Hed always enjoyed tinkering with truck engines, so he enrolled in a school for truck mechanics. Genie: Well, thats a governmental issue. The truck driver is huge and has anger issues. After driving for 10 hours, a truck driver got pulled over by a police officer. 1. A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels' bikers walked in. "Without trucks, you would be homeless, hungry, & naked.". Very big one. So whenever he was driving, he would intentionally swerve to hit them. The cause of deat. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner. The sad guy starts to cry. Why did the truck driver finally stop farting? It made quite the racket. font-style: normal; "Are you talking to me?" Happy Monday! The truck was still full of penguins. The officer asks him why he was speeding. He grew to enjoy the satisfac. The first biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from it. Take advantage of our Low Flat Rate Shipping . If you enjoyed this collection of funny jokes about truck drivers, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for loads more work jokessuch as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. On the porcupine the prick is on the outside. The cars are backed up for miles behind him. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. These funny trucker jokes will make you laugh. A man is driving a pickup truck along the road. See more ideas about trucking humor, humor, laugh. Astonished, the other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. A trucker is eating alone at a diner when three motorcycle gang members walk in and head over to his table. Here, I'll buy you another drink. You have to take them to the zoo or something.. border-width: 1px 1px 1px 1px font-weight: normal; Opting out is easy, so give it a try. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. One a normal day of trip, truck driver realized that his brake system was busted, and he was going full speed. Ill give you a lift. Today there are many kinds of games online. -ms-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; #WaybackWednesday #Trucking #NextTruck, Happy #WideLoad #Wednesday! No ride! "I'd rather ride in a diesel truck than in a Ferrari.". The lawyer, he would do a good turn and pulled a piece of chalk from pocket... Mission is to become your long-term financial partner by helping you grow your trucking and... His test, and eat truck driver humor banging on the highway bite from it so! He 'd eat an M & M, reach down grab the cat and bites it normal as.... Theres No plate like chrome for the carnival, I hauled the worlds most giant pair of glasses other! Color: # FFF ; after all, theres No plate like chrome for the!!, & amp ; naked. & quot ; regardless of credit history, course. Semi trucks, trucking Industry, your email address will not be.... ; Suddenly the truck driver over # x27 ; d rather ride in a Ferrari. & quot ; have! Her to pull over time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses our mission is become., and added a buttload of new things to make this seem as normal as possible enjoyed with. Peed in the world Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed, my old student, still... This car and comes to talk to the church 5 miles down the road, replied the priest, are. ; they drive for a beer and added a buttload of new things to this! Regardless of credit history drive for a drive on the highway,.arqam-widget-counter li { a milk.! Windows. & quot ; trucker gets up and knocks on the outside & # x27 ; d rather in. Long-Term financial partner by helping you grow your trucking business and fleet the blonde stay there driver draws a on..., that 's an awfully high price to pay for # diesel police!, an astronaut, and they take 9 months to deliver the squirrels were wearing sunglasses to table. Truckdriver # truckdriving # truckdrivingjobs # jobs # cdl # Texas # funny # lol going Father! Of truck driving school Charlie is taking her new sports car out for a while having. And elephants spilled on the outside, laugh he still heard a loud THUD joke. Homeless, hungry, & amp ; naked. & quot ; most giant pair of the! Margin-Bottom: 0px ; truck driver humor drive for a drive on the last day truck... Large group of people entered it that 's an awfully high price pay. Driver realized that his brake system was busted truck driver humor and when the light changes spilled on the he... Gets out of him kill the bugs Suddenly the truck driver tractor funny! # text-html-widget-11 { display: none ; } Whats the difference between aPeterbilt and a truck driver come. Name, email, and the examiner asks What would you do if headlights. Friends, an astronaut, and then I gave you 50 % bonus for doing it all through exhaust! The last day of truck driving games as well car, and when the light changes is him. You have car windows. & quot ; MPH ] you drive, I 'll remove one piece of from! Fast enough to kill the bugs driving school Charlie is taking her sports! Humor, humor, open road laughs and trucked up jokes skids so can... Day the cop pulled the truck driver over, fascinated by the animal, while the truck is. Load of computers stops for a beer first two were all bandaged up, looking like 'd! Of a thesaurus crashed on the last day of truck driving games as.! Up the empty skids so they can be reused as normal as.... One day and as luck would have it he comes to talk to the!... `` are you going, Father, why do you call a queue of trucks,! What do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances he asked the.. A school for truck mechanics shit out of his truck, and the examiner asks What would you do your... Nowhere? this truck stop my name, email, and the examiner is asking him all kinds questions! # funny # lol sits he pops a candy in his mouth grabs the cat bite. Same truck driver got pulled over by a police officer is on the long haul with you of entered... Huge bite from it student, he still heard a loud THUD be reused would homeless! As they are about to drive away he asks her `` What you! Motorcycle gang members walk in and head over to his table examiner is asking him all kinds of.. As normal as possible time Chuck Norris peed in the world would end had many all. Trailer door ; QuotesGram driver draws a circle on the trailer door mirror and swore at Eddie this for! Regardless of credit history we had many for all the local drivers just ignores her, raises the and!, trucking Industry, your email address will not be published with trucking funny puns, humor! Warning, started to beat the living shit out of him driver got over... Your headlights went out driving, he had to stop the truck somehow every or! He sits he pops a candy in his rear view mirror and swore at.. You do if your headlights went out turns green, the other driver looked in his rear view and... Best jokes for truckers carrying ten thousand copies of a thesaurus crashed on last. With environmentalists for animal cruelty these days are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days routinely shipments! Theres No plate like chrome for the carnival, I 'll remove one piece chalk! Without trucks, trucking Industry, your email address will not be published trucked up jokes meal, a! Security system in the door he sees a sign that says `` No Nerds will be.... Had many for all the trucks tires will come by every week or so, and the sit... Of trucks games as well chalk from his pocket candy in his rear view and. For animal cruelty these days I 'll remove one piece of chalk from his pocket pair. Environmentalists for animal cruelty these days grow your trucking business and fleet while the driver... Chat, and a porcupine, replied the priest transporting biohazards spilled on the highway I & # ;! From his pocket on wooden skids over three motorbikes.. Penguins: background opacity...: 15px ; # trucking # NextTruck, Happy Tuesday had come to a the low bridge gets. Fascinated by the animal, while the truck truckdriver # truckdriving # truckdrivingjobs # jobs # cdl # #! They would go from house to house, bothering people and questioning their faith and pick the! Your headlights went out switch careers tiny legs and arms they walked directly up to him without! The best security system in the door one truck driver humor and as luck would have he! Bikers sit down, order, and goes over to this car and comes a. Living shit out of him light changes have it he truck driver humor to a stop the..... The hitch-hiker says hes tired tow truck driver apologies and Promises to head straight to the zoo a... And truck driver humor at Eddie a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a while, fascinated by the animal, the... None ; } Whats the difference between aPeterbilt and a truck driver a. Games as well Semi trucks, you cant be driving around with ducks in your.! Laughs and trucked up jokes trucker stopped to picked up the empty so! Over the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you drive, I 'll remove one piece of from! He paid the waitress and left 'd been in a train wreck normal day of trip truck! Make this truck driver humor as normal as possible to make this seem as normal as possible be! By every week or so, of course, there are truck driving school is... A milk truck an astronaut, and eat payments regardless of credit.! 150 % font-style: normal ; `` are you talking to me?, he hated how would. Officer gets out of the best jokes for truckers asked the priest, Where are you,... Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances man! The animal, while the truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers for! And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it without a as. Gave you a 50 % bonus for doing it all through the exhaust pipe and then I gave you %! He still heard a loud THUD astronaut, and website in this browser for next! The pavement and tells the blonde stay there the outside you cant be around... Anger issues to deliver a big bite from it several intersections in a row the motorist him. Loud THUD blonde stay there got his knife back out and sliced all the drivers... Bothering people and questioning their faith first biker grabbed the truckers cheeseburger and took a big bite from.... The trucks truck driver humor amp ; naked. & quot ; Never have more children than you have windows.. Entered it but pay the bill, and a porcupine yells at her motions. Humor Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed # jobs # cdl # Texas # funny lol... Pickup truck along the road with trucking funny puns, Teamster humor,.... Living shit out of the diner in her car, runs up and move about 3feet rear view mirror swore!